Lessons from Eight Years of Mindfulness Meditation Practice
Written on
Chapter 1: My Journey into Mindfulness
In the summer of 2014, I embarked on a journey into mindfulness meditation as I relocated to Denver, CO, to pursue graduate studies. Recently, I realized that I have been practicing for nearly eight years. Throughout this period, I have participated in six silent meditation retreats and trained as a qualified instructor of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), an eight-week course developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn over four decades ago at UMASS Medical School. However, I don’t consider myself an expert in mindfulness meditation; in fact, I am still learning.
It's common for writers on platforms like Medium to share their experiences with mindfulness after relatively brief periods. While such short-term insights are valuable, I have noticed a scarcity of reflections based on longer durations of practice. In this piece, I hope to share a few lessons that have emerged from my own journey—lessons that have either remained with me throughout the years or took time to fully understand.
As a therapist and mindfulness instructor, I often encounter individuals who feel that mindfulness “doesn’t work” for them. While I won’t claim mindfulness is suitable for everyone, I have observed that many misunderstand its true nature and how it can genuinely benefit them. There are undoubtedly challenges along the way, and I aim to shed light on some of these hurdles for those curious about exploring mindfulness meditation. If your experience mirrors mine, you may still encounter these obstacles, but I hope this insight helps you navigate them more efficiently or encourages you to persist.
Section 1.1: The Importance of Trauma-Informed Practices
My introduction to mindfulness meditation came through the Vipassana, or Insight, Buddhist tradition. This approach offers straightforward guidance: close your eyes and focus on the sensations of your breath, wherever you feel them most intensely in your body. When your mind drifts away from the breath, simply recognize what distracted you and gently redirect your attention back—without judgment. While this sounds simple, it can be quite challenging!
At the beginning of my practice, I was driven by a sense of urgency and intensity. While this motivation helped me maintain a daily routine, it also led to considerable suffering, especially during intensive silent retreats. I often felt the need to “do it right,” which made me overlook other beneficial approaches that might have alleviated my struggles.
The concept of trauma-informed mindfulness, popularized by David Treleaven, acknowledges that focusing on breath isn’t a safe or accessible option for everyone. For those with past trauma, this focus can sometimes lead to disconnection and emotional distress. Integrating trauma-informed practices into my routine has been crucial for fostering stability and understanding what is needed in each moment.
Section 1.2: Accepting the Wandering Mind
One of the most significant realizations I’ve had is the acceptance of a wandering mind. In Western cultures, mindfulness and meditation are often associated with the idea of clearing your thoughts or achieving a state of bliss. While such experiences can happen, they do not define the practice or its objectives.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of judging your meditation by how calm or focused you feel. During several retreats, I became entangled in my own expectations and self-criticism. It wasn’t until I surrendered and allowed my mind to wander that the suffering dissipated, and I could simply be present with my experiences. I spent two years learning to expand my acceptance of various experiences in mindfulness practice. Over time, I have realized that there is no wrong experience; the essential question is how we relate to our experiences.
Chapter 2: From Knowledge to Practice
In my first multi-day retreat, I faced intense self-judgment and criticism. The depth of these feelings frightened me, leading me to distance myself from my practice. I continued to read extensively and practice occasionally, but my enthusiasm waned due to fear of what I might uncover.
One day, I attended a group meditation led by Barry Gillespie, a teacher from Boulder. Afterward, I asked him if it was wrong to be reading more than I was practicing. His response resonated deeply: “In Western cultures, we often prioritize knowledge from books over actual experience. At some point, you need to stop reading cookbooks and get into the kitchen to start cooking.” His words have stayed with me; they remind me that true learning comes from experience.
Section 2.1: The Value of Informal Practice
During my first retreat, I learned about the concept of “continuity of practice.” This idea emphasizes that every moment presents an opportunity to be present in life. Though being fully mindful all the time is challenging, retreats provide an ideal environment for practice. Instead of viewing transitions between practices as breaks, I learned to embrace these moments as part of my overall practice.
Initially, my motivation for practicing mindfulness was to see how it would affect my daily life. I wanted to understand how consistent practice could alter my perspective and self-awareness. This approach allowed me to integrate mindfulness into everyday activities, such as showering, dressing, or even brushing my teeth, reinforcing the idea that informal practices are just as valuable as formal ones.
Section 2.2: The Power of Perseverance
It may sound simple, but I have found that persistence is key in mindfulness meditation. As an experiential practice, questions are bound to arise. Although I often feel inclined to analyze these questions, I’ve discovered that continuing to practice tends to yield the most clarity. The poet Rainer Maria Rilke expressed this beautifully:
“…be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
This mindset has been particularly helpful in my practice; when I embrace the questions, I find that I gradually move toward the answers.
Did you enjoy this post? If so, please consider liking or sharing it with someone who might benefit from it. I strive to publish weekly articles, so follow me for updates.
In the first video, “1 Year of Meditation: What I've Learned,” the speaker reflects on key insights gained over a year of dedicated practice, sharing practical advice for newcomers to meditation.
The second video, “Meditating Every Day for 3 Years Changed My Life | Mindful Meditation Benefits,” showcases transformative experiences and the profound effects of a consistent meditation practice over three years.