Chapter 1: Understanding Amends

Making amends transcends merely uttering the words "I'm sorry."

The 8th Step encourages us to compile a list of individuals we have wronged and to cultivate a willingness to make amends. At first, it may seem overwhelming. "This list is going to be enormous! How can I possibly set things right?"

However, do not let this discourage you. Recall our earlier discussion about the fact that this program is straightforward, even for those of us with complicated lives. Let’s simplify the process. I remember a poignant moment during my early sobriety when a 16-year-old shared his insights at an 8th Step gathering. Initially surprised by his presence, I soon realized he had profound wisdom to offer.

He expressed that if something bothered him, he should take action, and if it didn’t, he should let it go. This perspective was enlightening! Almost immediately, my daunting list became much more manageable, primarily consisting of family, close friends, and a few past employers.

As I approached this step, I invoked a simpler version of the 3rd Step, simply asking, "God help me," before tackling my list. I discovered that my Higher Power was ready to assist me—if I was open to it!

The weight of the task no longer overwhelmed me. With the guidance of my Higher Power, my complicated thoughts were replaced with clarity, allowing my list to take shape. I realized I had forgotten many of the people I had hurt while intoxicated; those instances faded into the background.

However, there were memories of times I was truly unkind and hurtful that resurfaced, and I included those individuals on my list. At this point, we are merely creating the list. We have begun to cultivate a genuine conscience, one that understands the difference between right and wrong.

When should we discern right from wrong? If achieving something requires hurting someone else, whether physically or emotionally, it is wrong. True freedom lies in choosing to step aside for others rather than bulldozing through situations.

Gradually, I began to transform into a person who felt good when doing the right thing and uneasy when I acted wrongly. The phrase "If it feels good, do it," acquired a new meaning.

As I progressed, I felt increasingly positive about myself, taking constructive actions to rectify past mistakes. Remember to approach this step as we have with the others: begin with "God help me" and then take action! There is significantly less to regret now!

It’s straightforward! Although it may not be easy initially, the process is simple. The more diligently I engage with my program—not just during meetings but throughout my entire life—the easier it becomes.

By committing to our program daily, life continues to improve. This is a promise! We didn’t say to execute it flawlessly; just do your best.

Always remember to commence each new endeavor with "God help me," and enjoy the fruits of your efforts! If you haven’t consumed alcohol or drugs today, you have a choice in every situation. "What should I do now?" Simply say, "God help me," and then take action! The choice is yours. What will you choose? Thank you, God!

Chapter 2: Taking Action and Seeking Guidance

In this video, "Step 9 - Making Amends," you will learn about the importance of taking responsibility for past actions and the transformative power of making amends in recovery.

The second video, "Mark H. - AA Speaker - 'The Steps as Spiritual Disciplines,'" explores how spiritual disciplines can guide you through the steps of recovery and help you embrace your journey.