Chapter 1: The Journey Begins

Reflecting on my life three years ago, I would have found it hard to believe that I would end up where I am today. The notion of receiving affection and genuine care felt like an unattainable dream. Throughout my childhood, I was engulfed by feelings of being unwanted, overlooked, and forgotten.

This early trauma significantly influenced my views on love and relationships, ultimately leading me into harmful partnerships and, subsequently, into addiction. My understanding of love was intertwined with quiet resentment and anger. In hindsight, I realize that I gravitated towards these toxic dynamics because they were all I had ever known.

I subjected myself to both physical and emotional abuse, almost as if I thrived on the negativity surrounding me. I can still vividly recall moments when I was slapped simply for refusing to eat what my partner preferred, or being called selfish for voicing my own feelings. Each incident chipped away at my self-worth, creating an identity I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

Describing my