Authenticity Over Likeability: The True Power of Self-Expression
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Chapter 1: The Illusion of Likeability
In our interactions, we often encounter individuals whose kindness is not accompanied by a smile. Some of the most intelligent people I know struggle financially, focused solely on survival. Ironically, those who are genuinely authentic often find themselves at the receiving end of disapproval and gossip.
Conversely, the agreeable individuals—those who conform, suppress their true feelings, and play along without question—fade from memory. Their lack of distinctiveness renders them forgettable. When we conform to societal expectations, we diminish our unique essence, inhibiting our individuality and authenticity.
Confidence and the ability to set boundaries are far more respected traits than mere agreeableness. An overly compliant person lacks the courage to stand firm; they may betray their loved ones to save themselves when cornered. Such individuals are governed by fear and the opinions of others.
Desperation for approval can act as a deterrent; it repels rather than attracts. Chasing acceptance prevents us from presenting our authentic selves. It’s essential to find peace with the idea of being disliked.
Section 1.1: Embracing Dislike
A friend once expressed her inability to handle being disliked, even by those she didn’t care for. However, being disliked can bring a sense of freedom. People-pleasing often begins in childhood, serving a protective role initially. Yet, if this behavior continues into adulthood, emotional turmoil is inevitable.
Just as we maintain our physical health through exercise and proper nutrition, seeking validation through people-pleasing is akin to consuming fast food daily—it will inevitably damage our emotional and spiritual well-being.
The first video explores how being liked is overrated in sales, emphasizing the importance of authenticity over mere likability.
Section 1.2: The Cost of Vulnerability
Our instinct to hide our true selves often stems from fear of judgment and gossip. Small-minded individuals are drawn to those who are authentic, much like moths to a flame. It’s crucial to embrace the role of the flame, instead of the moth.
While some may stare or gossip when we refuse to conform, their discomfort reflects their inability to express themselves, not our failure. When we assert our beliefs, we communicate our values and boundaries.
Our most genuine self is also our most innovative and liberated self. We deserve to embrace this authenticity during our brief time on earth. Authenticity will naturally attract like-minded individuals, creating a powerful synergy.
Chapter 2: Letting Go of External Validation
The second video discusses the notion that being authentic is often deemed overrated, featuring insights from a TEDx talk. It encourages viewers to prioritize self-expression over societal expectations.
Let go of the need for control and recognize that your self-worth surpasses the perceptions of others. Embrace mindfulness to appreciate the present, letting go of past regrets. When the ego feels slighted by a lack of approval, take a step back and appreciate the freedom that comes with self-expression.
Releasing outdated thoughts and habits requires dedication and discipline. As I discuss in my piece on self-discipline, this is one of the highest forms of self-love.
We will never be universally liked, and expending energy to chase acceptance is a futile endeavor. Ultimately, being true to oneself is not only liberating but also breathtaking—real freedom resides in authentic self-expression.