Chapter 1: The Rollercoaster of Emotions

Grief can feel like an endless cycle. Recently, I found myself struggling again, despite having felt so much better. After reveling in life’s joys, I was suddenly jolted back into sadness.

It’s frustrating! Why am I still grieving Michael? Isn’t that a chapter closed? Apparently not. My tears reveal the truth: I can still feel lost and alone. But the real challenge lies in the pressure I impose on myself to ‘do better’ and ‘feel better’ quickly. Instead of allowing my feelings, I rush to escape them.

Does this resonate with you? It’s often harder to cope with sadness when you’ve tasted happiness. The contrast can be overwhelming, and I find myself frustrated by tears when I usually embrace joy.

Many of my clients describe their emotional swings as ‘bipolar’ due to the extreme highs and lows they experience. If we’re not careful, we set lofty goals to enjoy every moment and end up feeling drained instead. We often wonder, when will we finally reach that idyllic state of happiness?

The truth is, no one stays in that blissful place all the time. It may appear that way from the outside, but in reality, we are constantly evolving. Our only task is to find peace in this moment and recognize that we don't need anything more. By shifting our focus towards what we desire, we can access the joy of simply wanting without the pressure of immediate fulfillment.

“The only true measure of success is the amount of joy you are feeling.” — Abraham

When joy eludes us, we must chart our course towards it while letting go of expectations. A simple warm drink in a cherished mug can transport us to that joyful space.

But then, we might find ourselves slipping back into discomfort. Why does this happen? Because we are dynamic beings, always expanding and seeking more. This ebb and flow brings growing pains.

Our goal is to embrace this moment and understand that we have everything we need right now. The quicker we accept the present, the more we will savor life. There’s no monumental task at hand—just the beauty of appreciating now.

Recently, someone asked me, “Amanda, what is your goal?” They were hoping to sell me a course on manifesting everything. I confidently replied, “To be fully present, in love with life, and following my joy.”

His puzzled expression was priceless! I felt immense joy in that moment. I finally realized that my ultimate aim is simply to exist fully, guiding myself through each moment with awareness and appreciation.

To be present means to acknowledge what’s around us—our emotions, memories, sensations, and desires. Love encompasses it all and thrives on the unfolding of our desires.

“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove…” — Shakespeare, Sonnet 116

Love transcends the struggles of today and celebrates the new life we create. In the eyes of love, our desires are already realized.

To be present in love with life means to follow joy without the pressure of forcing it. I embrace whatever emotions come my way. Transitioning from grief to anger and then to relief is part of following that inner calling toward joy.

Love is present every step of the way, bringing delight in each moment of relief. I am the creator of my experiences. By choosing to accept my current state, I pave the way for the joy I seek.

To love life is a conscious decision, not merely a feeling. For me, it’s a gentle choice I make continuously. Love fuels my heart, guiding me to choose joy in every moment, no matter how I feel.

This philosophy echoes the Japanese concept of Ikigai, where finding joy in the small moments leads to a fulfilling life.

“What joy comes when we take the pressure off! What if you were not here for grand achievements, lovely though they are?”

Making Our Way Home Again

This morning, I journaled about my feelings of grief and disconnection. Panic washed over me as I questioned if I would ever feel love again. I want to embrace the contrast in emotions and love the experience I’m in right now.

Shifting my focus from despair to desire helps. It may feel like a small step, but it’s enough to guide me home. I strive to be in love with life and follow my joy.

The only thing holding me back is impatience. Are you feeling similarly? Do you long for significance in life’s low moments?

Daydreaming for Clarity

Daydreaming became my refuge today. I envision connection and love like sunlight on my soul. I find joy in the idea of living in connection, appreciating everything around me.

I cherish the simple beauty of nature—like the gentle jay on the fence or the playful squirrel in my garden. In moments of stillness, I release the pressure to feel better and simply enjoy the quiet.

Now, warmth returns to my heart. I am aware that dreaming holds power. Engage in daydreaming when reality feels tough; it can fill you with joy and open your mind to new possibilities.

Remember, imagining is akin to creating. Allow yourself to dream and relish in those moments, for they are your path to feeling better.

Encouragement for Your Journey

As you navigate your path, know that you are beautiful and perfect just as you are. You are in the right place to reach for more joy.

The best is yet to come. If you seek encouragement or clarity, let’s connect and explore the possibilities together!

The first video titled "Do You Feel Pressure To Have Fun & Be Happy?" discusses the societal expectations surrounding joy and the internal struggles we face.

The second video, "Do You Put Too Much Pressure On Yourself? (Learn how to stop)," offers insights on how to alleviate self-imposed pressure and embrace a more fulfilling life.