You Define Your Own Success: Is Your Definition Making You Unhappy?
Written on
Chapter 1: Understanding Success
Success is often defined as achieving specific goals or purposes. As I grew up, I frequently heard discussions about what it meant for someone to be "successful." This definition was often tied to particular careers, luxury vehicles, spacious homes, and frequent vacations. Those labeled as successful seemed to possess wealth, indulgence, and grand residences to showcase their affluence.
This perspective distorted my understanding of what success truly entailed. I recall a conversation with a friend during my teenage years who described her family as financially struggling, despite driving the latest model cars and residing in a newly constructed mansion. I questioned why they didn’t sell off a car or two, only to discover that all their vehicles were leased, and their mortgage payments had fallen behind for months. Their life was a facade, swallowed by debt. Eventually, this illusion of wealth led to the collapse of their marriage, home, and the carefully curated image of success.
When we fail to define success for ourselves, we often end up conforming to someone else’s vision. My parents’ understanding of success diverges significantly from mine. Attempting to meet their expectations would have ensnared me in a cycle of dissatisfaction, distancing me from my true aspirations and contributions to the world.
By reflecting on what I genuinely want to achieve, I’ve come to appreciate my own successes. For me, success embodies authenticity and freedom. The more I can express my true self and embrace the present, the more fulfilled I feel. It’s about choosing love over fear, making decisions from a centered and grounded place. Fear-based choices often lead to confusion, while I strive to welcome challenges. Facing difficulties head-on enhances my sense of achievement.
Learning and experiencing failure continually contribute to my feeling of success. I’ve come to recognize that failure is a natural part of growth and perseverance. This perspective has transformed my understanding of success.
Embracing Failure: A Transformative Experience
I used to dread failing at anything.
High achievers often emphasize the importance of persistence. Having a clear vision of your goals and the determination to achieve them is motivating—until obstacles arise. Integrating persistence into my personal definition of success helps me quiet the mental noise and concentrate on my objectives.
If my ambition is to write and obstacles hinder my progress, achieving success means pushing through and finding ways to complete my writing despite the challenges. I choose to perceive this persistence as success, and it truly feels rewarding.
When I redefined success to align with my values, I gained invaluable clarity regarding what genuinely mattered to me, as well as the superficial pursuits I had been chasing. This newfound understanding illuminated my desires and provided a clear sense of direction.
Success varies for everyone. If you’re uncertain about what it means for you, it’s your opportunity to decide. Reflect on what holds the most significance in your life. How can you prioritize those elements that inspire and energize you? What are your aspirations, and what motivates them? Understanding your 'why' fosters mental clarity. Once you achieve this insight, you may find that the definition of success you once adhered to now appears burdensome and far from your true desires.
Chapter 2: The Importance of Redefining Success
In the video "We Need to Redefine What Success Looks Like," the speaker emphasizes the need to challenge societal norms surrounding success. They argue that personal definitions are crucial for true fulfillment, encouraging viewers to explore their own values and aspirations.
The second video, "Decide Your Definition of Success," highlights the importance of making conscious choices about what success means to you. The speaker urges listeners to reflect on their own desires and motivations to cultivate a more meaningful path forward.