Chapter 1: The Distrustful Perspective

In today's world, there are numerous justifications for being wary of individuals past the age of 30, but one reason stands out more than the rest: whiteboards.

How can one place their faith in someone who considers whiteboards to be a valuable tool? If the eyes are said to reveal our innermost thoughts, then a whiteboard represents a peek into the chaotic mindset of a thirty-something individual.

From the beginning, I, Rex Corgi, realized that my human companion would inevitably falter when tasked with this writing prompt. It would fall upon me to step up and produce something worthwhile.

The telltale sign? His whiteboard, cluttered with ridiculous sayings.

Take this gem, for instance:

"Business Success = Overpromise, Underdeliver."

Incredible, right? Or how about:

"The 3 R’s of great writing: Reuse, Regurgitate, Redact."

And let's not forget:

"The 3 C’s of engaging copywriting: Copy, Copy, Copy."

How can we trust someone who gets easily sidetracked by trivial matters, like the Smillew Shrine?

Ann James should have been more cautious. It's common knowledge that men should not be given multiple tasks at once. It seems I’ll also be managing the dartboard situation.

Here you go.

Who’s laughing now, human?

The initial signs of trouble appeared right after the writing prompt was unveiled. Chaotic activity ensued as everything was pulled from our seven storage sheds and strewn across the kitchen floor.

Okay, “strewn” might be an exaggeration. Speaking of which, another reason to be skeptical of those over 30 is that only about a quarter of what’s inside their sheds is functional. I learned this through a rather frustrating experience, as my human was adamant about testing every working screen with a pattern of Smillew Rahcuef’s profile picture.

Thankfully, there was no sound; otherwise, I might have lost my patience. When I inquired about who Smillew was, he yelled, “That’s not the point!” and left the room in a huff.

Actually, he didn’t storm off; he simply went back to the shed to retrieve more junk. Living with a disorganized human can be quite draining, and I was beginning to feel peckish.

No, Rex, I don’t know where your bowl is. Would you like some goulash instead?

Honestly, I can’t wait for the end of September. All this clutter can return to the sheds, Ann James will be back in action, and hopefully, he’ll remember that dogs don’t eat goulash.

In conclusion, as if I were Sean Kernan or something: Why I Have My Doubts About Trusting Anyone Over 30: Whiteboards, sheds filled with useless items, susceptibility to distraction, and inadequate feeding practices.

You've just completed another deluded custodian writing challenge.

‘Deluded custodians’ September challenge

Anyone is welcome to join. No need to be a custodian or deluded.