Understanding the Silence of a Narcissist: The Emotional Impact
Written on
Chapter 1: The Void Left by a Narcissist
When a narcissist cuts ties, it might feel like a breath of fresh air, allowing you to embark on a healing process. However, why does their absence amplify your distress?
If you believed that being discarded by a narcissistic individual was agonizing, brace yourself for what might follow. After a narcissistic discard, there may be an eerie silence from the one who shattered your heart, leaving you to ponder over the "whys" and "hows" of the situation. They won’t provide closure, as that would require them to acknowledge their own faults, something narcissists struggle to do due to their overwhelming internal shame.
As someone who has endured narcissistic abuse, you might find yourself replaying events, questioning if there was something you could have done differently to salvage the relationship. You may even feel compelled to seek answers from the narcissist, only to face further gaslighting, where they shift all blame onto you. This unbalanced dynamic can lead to them either ignoring you or returning to reignite the toxic cycle, a behavior known as "hoovering."
The first video titled "Why isn't the narcissist HOOVERING me?" delves into the reasons why some narcissists may choose not to re-establish contact after a relationship ends. This insightful discussion helps survivors understand the implications of this silence.
In your vulnerable state, receiving that initial message from the narcissist might momentarily boost your spirits, allowing you to feel a sense of worth. However, the reality is that this hoovering tactic is merely a manipulation strategy employed by those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder to regain control and attention.
Section 1.1: The Silent Treatment
On the other hand, there are occasions when a narcissist opts for the silent treatment instead of re-engaging. Research shows that not all narcissists resort to hoovering; some may decide you no longer serve their interests, treating you as if you are expendable. This can leave you feeling even less valuable, as your self-worth diminishes when you mistakenly elevate the narcissist on a pedestal.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Concept of an Oubliette
The emotional state induced by a narcissist can feel akin to being trapped in an emotional oubliette. An oubliette, a term originating from French meaning "forgotten," refers to a medieval dungeon where a prisoner is confined with little room to move, forced to endure their plight while life continues above them.
The narcissist keeps you in a state of despair, where you can see the possibility of escape yet remain unable to reach it. Much like the medieval prisoner's plight, you know there are answers to the turmoil of your relationship, but the narcissist will never provide them. They hold the power while you are left in limbo, forgotten as they search for their next source of validation.
Narcissists find satisfaction in your pain, as it distracts them from their inner turmoil. However, the good news is that this emotional oubliette is an illusion.
Section 1.2: The Path to Freedom
Unlike a medieval captive, you possess the power to choose. You can either allow the mind games to persist, or you can recognize that the narcissist is not worth your time. Understanding that they were merely a deceitful figure in your life can be liberating. This realization can pave the way for emotional and psychological freedom.
Your self-worth is not dictated by whether a narcissist pays attention to you or not. Experiencing hoovering is not a sign of their remorse or affection.
Letting go of the façade the narcissist presented is crucial. Once you see them for what they truly are—a manipulative and emotionally detached individual—you’ll realize they are unworthy of your energy.
Chapter 2: Embracing Your Strength
The second video titled "6 NORMAL reactions AFTER a narcissistic break up" discusses common emotional responses following a breakup with a narcissist. This resource can help you understand and validate your feelings during this challenging time.
It's commendable that you're seeking knowledge and understanding. Remember, you’re not a victim but a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Acknowledging that you weren’t equipped to see through the manipulations is tough, but sharing your experiences can foster healing for both you and others in similar situations.
If this article resonated with you or offered any support, please feel free to engage with it by commenting or following for more content. Together, we can create a community of healing and understanding.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I AM A SURVIVOR OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE WHO ASPIRES TO ASSIST OTHERS ON THEIR HEALING JOURNEY. I'M HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK.
Are you finding this article beneficial? Interested in exclusive content? Join our community for more insights on surviving narcissistic abuse and more!