Chapter 1: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Have you ever felt an emotional shift from elation to despair in a single day? I experienced this last Friday, triggered by a brief phone call that shattered my hopes. My life could have taken a remarkable turn with the arrival of spring, but fate had other plans. Nevertheless, I pressed on with publishing my newsletter, a commitment I uphold because it brings me joy.

Over the past few weeks, I've shared my journey with some of you. On February 29, I submitted my application for a literary agent position at a small publishing house that started in 2021, primarily focusing on poetry collections. Although it was labeled as an internship intended for students, the promise of a full-time role post-internship caught my attention. I felt my experience with Scribe would align well with the job requirements, which included:

• Guiding authors from initial contact to book distribution
• Creating layouts using our web application
• Communicating with authors to promote their works to our extensive community
• Providing customer support and managing orders
• Building partnerships within the artistic community (literary events, awards, bookstores, etc.)

I quickly had an initial meeting with the founder, lasting about 50 minutes. Following that, I participated in a second interview via video call with a Gestalt psychopractitioner, likely contracted for the process since the company lacks a dedicated HR team. Both interviews seemed promising; the interviewers expressed genuine interest in my background and personality. I was informed that the next step would involve a practical test on using a book layout tool, leading up to a potential start in early April. A third, in-person interview was scheduled with the entire team in Paris.

However, the following day, just as I was feeling optimistic about my prospects after navigating a lengthy recruitment process, I received a call from the founder who seemed quite uneasy. He conveyed that, despite the challenging decision, my tech-oriented background did not align with their needs, and they opted for another candidate with a more editorial focus.

I prefer not to comment on their decision, as I respect the team's judgment, but it's undoubtedly a tough pill to swallow. I had hoped for the opportunity to work with a French company that valued my contributions on Medium, blending my editing role with a fulfilling job in France. Unfortunately, that dream was dashed.

When I see stories about shepherds in the Jura mountains who lead a simple yet fulfilling life, I often fantasize about making a similar change. Living in the Paris area is costly, with exorbitant rents, polluted air, and a lack of work-life balance. Yet, my family, including my ailing father and my mother who needs assistance, are here, making it challenging to consider relocating. The corporate environment is uninspiring, and I often yearn for a life away from the chaos of technology, while still engaging in my passion for writing and publishing on Medium—it's what truly brings me joy.

Looking through my metaphorical telescope, my future seems undefined. My mind is a whirlwind of ideas, memories, and anxieties that drain my energy. As I approach my 38th birthday in six months, I ponder what might change and what the next autumn will hold. My greatest concern is that any transformation must stem from within myself.

In the video titled "Can't Get a Literary Agent? Here's What To Do," insights are shared that may resonate with anyone navigating the world of literary agents and the challenges that come with it.

Another helpful video, "Why Literary Agents Didn't Like Your Opening Pages," discusses common pitfalls that writers face when submitting their work, offering strategies for improvement.