My Journey

Fatherhood has bestowed upon me some of life’s greatest joys. The wonder of each child’s birth, the laughter-filled toddler years, the unique personalities that develop, and those deeper conversations as they approach adulthood—all of these moments shared with my incredible wife, Sarah, fill my heart with gratitude.

Each of our children holds a special place in our lives, and although there have been fantastic moments in fatherhood, they have also led me to experience some of the most profound feelings of despair. There have been times when I've missed opportunities to bond with my children, choosing instead to work late or focus on building a better future for them. Unfortunately, this has meant missing out on important family moments like movie nights or mountain hikes.

Those precious moments of “should have been” are now lost.

The harsh reality is that time is relentless. It flies by, and once it's gone, there's no getting it back.

For years, I have been selfish with my time. There were times I had to remind myself that I am a dad, not just a man pursuing career ambitions or personal interests. The complexity arises when you work longer hours to earn more money for a better lifestyle, only to find that your family feels neglected and distant.

Years slip away like sand through fingers.

The realization that I cannot reclaim the time lost fills me with frustration and drains my emotional energy. I often feel as though I can never make up for what I've missed, leading to thoughts of giving up.

It's Never Too Late

As difficult as it is to admit, there is a silver lining: “It’s never too late to keep trying.” This truth resonates deeply.

Doesn’t it feel uplifting to read those words? Say them aloud: “It’s never too late to keep trying.”

While I may not be able to recover what was lost, I can still strive to improve. For this, I am immensely thankful.

The Real Failure

The only true failure would be to surrender. So, let’s commit to not giving up—together.

I refuse to be a disappointment to my children, and I believe you feel the same way.

We care about this issue in our lives, right? Taking action is crucial, and it’s better to act imperfectly than to not act at all.

Time continues to move forward. So, where do we begin?

Building Relationships

To inspire myself and others, I want to explore ways to strengthen the bond between fathers and their children.

I’m not a doctor, psychologist, or therapist. I’m just a dad of seven fantastic kids with years of experience under my belt.

This gives me the credibility to suggest some simple strategies that, if implemented, could enhance your relationship with your child starting today.

It all begins with making connections, one day at a time.

Connect With Them

The essence of improvement lies in finding meaningful ways to connect with your child as their father.

It requires effort. Fatherhood is a labor of love, and they deserve your utmost dedication.

The most significant work will be applying your love in personalized ways for each child. Here are four tips to enhance your connection with your beloved child. Aim to apply these in ways that are unique to each individual.

Tip #1: Communicate With Them

Throughout the day, there are moments where we can engage with our children, most of which revolve around communication. Here are some ideas:

Idea #1: Give them a call. A spontaneous phone call can brighten their day. Ask about their current activities and share what you’re doing. Keep it brief, but make sure to say “I love you.”

Idea #2: Send a text. A simple message, thought, or even an emoji can mean a lot.

Idea #3: Email them. If they have an email address, send them a note asking about their day or sharing something interesting.

Idea #4: Have a conversation. Make an effort to find them in the house and spend a few minutes together. Even if they aren’t in the mood, being present can spark dialogue.

Idea #5: Share a laugh. Use your knowledge of what makes them chuckle—share a funny memory or tell a dad joke.

Idea #6: Share your childhood memories. Let them know you were once a kid too and share some exciting stories from your past.

Being consistently present will build trust and close any existing gaps in your relationship. Another effective way to connect is by including them in your daily life.

Tip #2: Include Them

I once heard a story about a father who loved oil painting. His young son would occasionally visit him during his painting sessions, asking if he could join in. The father would encourage him, allowing the boy to paint beside him. This simple act created lasting joy for the child.

I often find my children running to my car as I leave, asking to join me on errands. More often than not, I say yes. I want them to feel wanted, not like a burden.

Share details about your day with them. Treat your little ones as equals by explaining your work and experiences when you're away.

Tip #3: Play With Them

Some of my fondest memories come from playing with my children. Discover what they enjoy and ask to join them. This may sometimes challenge you, but your presence matters. Here are a few ideas:

Idea #1: Let them lead. Engage in their activities and allow them to guide the play.

Idea #2: Participate in physical activities. Running, biking, or playing sports together fosters a healthy lifestyle and strengthens your bond.

Tip #4: Work Beside Them

In our household, we have chores, and I often share mine with one of my daughters, while my wife does the same with one of our sons. This teamwork has helped us connect better.

Recently, while fixing bicycles with my eldest son, we had a meaningful conversation. Similarly, my daughter joined in to wash bikes. These moments create bonds that last.

We also have a family rule to weed for 15 minutes before playtime. Imagine inviting your child to join you—what a memorable experience that could be!

While You’re Connecting

As you engage with your children, seize opportunities to deepen your relationship further. Here are four tips to enhance your connections:

Tip #1: Listen To Them

For younger children, getting down to their level is crucial. Show that you're listening through verbal and non-verbal cues. Maintaining eye contact builds their confidence and brightens their day. Listening attentively helps establish trust.

For older children, especially teenagers, give them space, but be there when they need to share. Your willingness to listen can create a lasting impact.

Tip #2: Fulfill Their Needs

Children have various needs. Are you meeting them? Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs can provide insight into fulfilling these needs.

Step #1: Identify their needs. Understand their struggles by connecting with them.

Step #2: Help them. Once you assess their needs, offer your support. Whether it’s ensuring proper nutrition or managing their screen time, your involvement is vital.

Tip #3: Help Them Grow

Encourage your children to develop their unique talents. Share opportunities with them and guide them in pursuing interests that resonate with their passions.

Tip #4: Teach Them

I’ve left teaching as the final tip because children will only value your words when they trust you. Continue nurturing that trust, and they will be more receptive to your teachings.

Remember, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Your tone, body language, and approach matter significantly in how your message is received.

Big Bonus Tip: Dates With Children

In a busy household with seven children, finding one-on-one time can be a challenge, but it’s essential. My wife and I have made it a priority to go on individual outings with each child, creating cherished memories.

I recently devised a calendar to ensure each child enjoys a monthly outing with a parent, fostering individual connections.

Conclusion

I acknowledge my imperfections as a father. While I have regrets, I recognize the importance of hope and commitment.

Each day is a new opportunity to dedicate ourselves to our loved ones. We cannot change the past, but we can shape our future.

Let us plan to be better fathers. Let’s live each day fully and find strength to continue loving and supporting our children.

Just go for it!

For more insights, visit Josh & Sarah Inspire and explore how to Escape the Daily Grind.

Originally published at https://joshandsarahinspire.com.