Finding Sanity Through Faith and Love: A Personal Journey
Written on
Chapter 1: Embracing Recovery
Today marked a significant milestone for me as I signed my discharge documents from the local Community Service Board. To clarify, this isn't related to the military but rather a government entity that assists individuals with severe mental health issues. My journey involved navigating through a diagnosis of Bipolar Type II Disorder, which later evolved into Schizoaffective Disorder over the course of four challenging years. This shifting nature of diagnoses is surprisingly common and serves as a reminder that psychology should not become a form of religious identification. We are not defined by our disorders; statements like "I am Bipolar" or "I am Schizophrenic" do not reflect our true selves.
From the very first day I was taken to the hospital—albeit in a compassionate manner—I understood this concept. Having been educated in Christian Science, I recognized the inherent Truth: I was whole and sane, despite the temporary turmoil. In fact, I had a profound spiritual experience in 2007, four years before my hospitalization, during which God revealed to me important insights.
Thus, when I was admitted to the psychiatric facility, I approached it with a sense of calm, even if I wasn't entirely aware of my surroundings. It’s true that I had moments of conflict, but I also found solace in singing during the transport to the hospital and while awaiting my competency hearing. The initial adjustment period was manageable; I committed to daily prayers and reading. My sister, who had triumphed over her severe depression, lent me her copy of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," which I intended to return after my eventual exit from what I called my "punk bubble."
Crashing and Burning
Once I returned to work, I struggled to shake off a lingering sense of depression. Despite being on medication—which doctors insisted would be a lifelong necessity—I found myself gaining weight and losing memories. Working alongside a Dietitian, I was advised to discontinue my medication as soon as possible. The weight of despair became suffocating, and my initial faith in prayer waned.
Ultimately, my work hours were cut, leading me to resign. However, this period taught me valuable lessons about recovery and healing. I began to piece together knowledge from a Holistic Nutrition class I had taken prior to my hospitalization.
When I finally managed to regain control over my mental state, I returned to work, focusing on my healing. It was a struggle, yet I could see tangible improvements manifesting over time.
Always an Advocate
My true healing journey began after losing a job and experiencing life in a homeless shelter. This pivotal change was fueled by my decision to leave an unhealthy relationship and secure my first grant-writing position. Additionally, I advocated for health priorities within my community, which empowered me and bolstered my self-esteem.
The Sabbath Truth
In 2018, I encountered a transformative book titled "There Must Be Something More" by Sid Royh. This inspired me to seek out a church that observed the Sabbath, marking a return to my spiritual roots. I embraced a predominantly vegan diet, utilizing an Instant Pot, and engaged in outdoor activities with my local Sierra Club, reconnecting with nature in meaningful ways.
I experienced a mystical vision during one of these hiking excursions, realizing that my healing was underway. My faith in God grew stronger, and I noticed positive changes in both my mind and body.
The Victory
In 2021, I faced eviction from my affordable housing. Strangely, I felt relieved despite the circumstances. After intervening in a domestic dispute by playing uplifting Christian music, I found myself at odds with my neighbors, who viewed me unfavorably because of my happiness and health. My ex-boyfriend drove me three and a half hours to stay near my parents, a move that ultimately turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
After experiencing the harsh treatment of the homeless by the Community Service Board and enduring a series of forced injections, divine intervention appeared in my life. Twelve years into my diagnosis, I faced physical challenges, including high blood sugar and mobility issues. Yet, I found healing through new dietary choices aligned with my true self and a newfound community of supportive healthcare providers.
God's Provisions
As I began to regain my strength, I was finally taken off forced injections—a miraculous turnaround. I adopted a healthier lifestyle, started exercising again, and discovered a church just down the street that resonated with my beliefs. The new psychiatric professional I encountered was remarkably compassionate, and these experiences felt like blessings from God. They reaffirmed that even in the darkest moments, divine assistance is always available.
With the support of caring healthcare professionals, a commitment to my faith, and a dedication to a healthy lifestyle, I successfully weaned off medication and secured employment. People began expressing pride in my progress and acknowledging my growth. I strive to maintain a gratitude journal, capturing my journey of transformation.
For those who believe they must accept illness as part of their identity, I encourage exploration. Engage with the outdoors, seek spiritual connection, and don’t underestimate the importance of hydration—water is essential for life.
The first video discusses the profound question of love and explores the nature of God, highlighting how He can lead us to sanity amidst turmoil.
The second video, part of the "Fundamentals of Faith" series, provides insights on restoring sanity, emphasizing faith as a pathway to mental wellness.
Please consider liking and sharing this article if you find it inspiring or helpful. I welcome your comments and connections. Cherish every moment and keep the faith alive.