Finding Family Beyond Blood Ties: A Personal Journey
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Chapter 1: Understanding Family Dynamics
Family bonds are often thought to be unbreakable, yet the reality can be quite different.
"I was constantly told I was 'worthless' and 'unworthy of life.' The impact of this message was so profound that I recently recalled instances of physical abuse from my past, though the memories were hazy compared to those of others. This realization was shocking."
This reflection brought to light why my paternal relatives displayed hostility toward me—I was unwelcome in their eyes. In many Indian families, discussing abuse is shunned, creating an environment where such issues are swept under the rug. The belief persists that family matters should remain private.
My mother endured years in a stifling marriage, with no one checking in on her well-being. Society tends to favor the man in this arrangement, often overlooking the woman’s contributions. If she finds success, it is typically attributed to him.
As I observe contemporary dating norms, I find it amusing how society has lowered expectations. The common phrase "he doesn't owe you anything" is frequently voiced, neglecting to acknowledge that a woman is not obligated to offer her hand or commitment in a relationship.
Throughout my childhood, I faced physical abuse from my aunts, particularly one cousin, during their visits—something my father seemed to condone. This experience taught me that family is not merely about blood relations.
The saying "blood is thicker than water" is frequently misinterpreted. The original phrase conveys that "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," suggesting that the relationships we choose hold greater significance than those we inherit, according to a well-known German proverb.
Family can often be our harshest critics, given their intimate access to our lives. I have lost faith in my biological family and now prefer to cultivate my own chosen family.
Family should uplift and support our aspirations; otherwise, they might as well have reconsidered bringing us into the world.
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