Chapter 1: The Climate Crisis

Today in Michigan, the weather is a delightful 70 degrees. How's everyone doing? It seems that Michigan might just have a buffer against climate change.

Recently, President Joe Biden addressed the serious condition of American democracy, emphasizing the urgent threat posed by MAGA fascism. His remarks were powerful and clear: vote Democratic in the upcoming elections, or risk the collapse of our democracy. It’s time to send the MAGA supporters back to their origins.

Despite being motivated to discuss this, I find myself pivoting to another pressing issue plaguing America: the imminent threat of climate change.

Some alarming headlines from around the globe today include:

• A staggering one-third of Pakistan is currently submerged. Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif labeled the flooding "the worst in the history of Pakistan."
• The western coast of the United States is either ablaze or poised to ignite.
• Global ice melt will elevate sea levels by at least a meter, likely more, and the momentum is unstoppable.

I could continue listing such headlines indefinitely. Thus, I pose a critical question to those reading this:

WHY ARE YOU STILL RESIDING IN OR MOVING TO DESERTS AND COASTAL AREAS? ARE YOU REALLY THAT UNINFORMED? Is it a misguided sense of nihilism that leads you to believe your lives and those of your families are expendable as long as you experience temporary happiness? Hasta la vista, baby.

This article doesn’t need to be excessively lengthy. I recognize that filling ten minutes of your time could increase my compensation, but I won’t do that today.

Michigan has been beautiful lately, truly! In fact, this summer has been one of the most enjoyable I can recall in my 53 years of living here. Remarkably, even the mosquitoes are hardly a nuisance this year! Meanwhile, the rest of the world is either burning, drowning, or on the brink of disaster.

Are "jobs" your only priority?

Do you not have families to consider?

Do any of you look beyond the immediate future?

What will your children do in ten years, or sooner, after you’ve placed them in the midst of a catastrophe?

Consider relocating to Michigan or another northern area as soon as you can establish a life for yourself and your family. Even if you are uncertain about what lies ahead, staying in the south assures more peril.

The Promised Land awaits.

I assure you, few will flourish in the southern regions. Only the billionaires and their servants, who have retreated underground, will thrive.

For folks like us, however, opportunities abound up here! As temperatures rise, this reality will only become more pronounced.

Housing remains affordable, but that won’t last long as the migration of smarter and more desperate individuals begins. The coasts and deserts are becoming increasingly uninhabitable without the exorbitant cost of diverting water from the north. We, the northerners, will fiercely protect our resources.

It's ours.

If you desire a better future, you will have to come here to enjoy it. The North has everything.

Jobs are abundant, but that won't persist indefinitely.

The ease of working remotely and starting new businesses has never been greater.

Sure, our politics can be quirky, but that’s a universal issue. Michigan often finds itself in a moderate position. We are the true no-nonsense Americans. When our leaders and voters are savvy enough to reject outright fascism, they do what’s best for the people of Michigan and for America’s struggling democracy. We embrace innovation and inspiration while remaining grounded in common sense.

We seek what benefits the majority, but honestly, we need YOU here.

The Midwest is in dire need of fresh perspectives after years of brain drain to the south and the destruction of our educational and social welfare systems by conservatives. We require more progressives and moderates to maintain the momentum of a thriving democracy. We need optimistic individuals to sway the cynical and resentful MAGA supporters back toward the common sense and equality that once made the Midwest a beacon of opportunity.

We need YOU here now to ensure the Great Lakes remain pristine for generations.

You could flourish here.

Your descendants could have a shot at prosperity rather than merely struggling to survive in the now unavoidable ecological disaster looming over the southern United States.

Yes, winters can be harsh up north, but so are the impending race riots, floods, and wildfires. The choice to move is yours, but it may not be for long.

Mother Nature is indifferent to your "plans" in "beautiful" California, Arizona, Texas, and so on. Her agenda now appears to involve a sweeping cleansing of half the planet until we regain our respect for the environment. She seems to want to preserve the Great Lakes as a sanctuary.

This may be your last opportunity.

Yes, it does get extremely cold here for a few months, but it's predictable, like clockwork, and easy to prepare for. Can you say the same about flash floods and wildfires ravaging the west and south? Michigan winters are something you learn to appreciate rather than fear. They pass quickly, leading back to our ever-improving springs, summers, and falls, which are full of vibrancy and beauty.

Earlier, I mentioned that Michigan might be "immune" to climate change, which was an overstatement. In fact, some experts suggest that climate change could potentially enhance Michigan's climate!

Oh, and did I mention we contain a significant portion of the planet's freshwater? Around 20% of the Earth's surface freshwater is found in the lakes encircling my beautiful peninsulas. While the western states struggle to find their next drink, most of Michigan is enjoying a refreshing swim today.

No water. No life.

As I stated, I don't require much of your time. The math is quite simple.

Move north or watch your family perish. Witness everything you’ve built either dry up or be washed away.

Whether you listen or not, I know my family and I will be alright. You won’t receive many more warnings from me. For most of you, it's already too late. Mother Nature and Evolution have already written you off.

And yes, I am unashamed to say "I told you so" rather than extend a lifeline. I believe in evolution as well. People only act when absolutely necessary. Today, I feel compelled to offer you a lifeline. It’s in my best interest to get you out of danger and steer this country back towards a more hopeful path. How will I feel tomorrow when I can’t afford to be so generous? Perhaps not great. The generosity of the North beckons you now, but like Lake Mead, it won't last.

Chapter 2: Embracing the North

In this official 4K music video, Alanis Morissette delivers a poignant message through her song "Ironic," capturing the complexities of life and the unexpected twists we face.

Chapter 3: The Warmth of Community

This video showcases a sunny and warm Sunday, reminding us of the simple joys of life and the importance of community in challenging times.