Chapter 1: Understanding the Role of Habits

Habits are often hailed as essential for self-improvement, playing a crucial role in achieving personal success. However, simply practicing habits does not guarantee positive outcomes; a more profound comprehension may be required.

We all have fundamental habits that we should integrate into our lives—not only for our mental and physical well-being but also to propel ourselves toward our goals. These essential habits include:

• Staying hydrated by drinking a sufficient amount of water daily
• Consuming whole foods regardless of dietary preferences
• Adhering to good sleep practices that align with our natural rhythms
• Spending ample time outdoors to soak up fresh air and sunlight
• Engaging in moderate exercise 3 to 5 times a week

These practices are vital for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. While there may be various opinions on how to implement them, the necessity remains unquestionable.

You might relate to my experience: trying to incorporate all the "success" habits—meditation, journaling, affirmations, gratitude, setting goals, and reading daily—can quickly become overwhelming. If I attempted to fit all these practices into a single day, I would hardly have time for my other responsibilities.

Achieving the level of success we desire can allow us to engage in activities we love while supporting our goals. Yet, I believe there is a mechanism behind habits that can either aid or hinder our progress.

Look, I understand the desire to distinguish between beneficial and detrimental habits. We all want to follow a checklist that promises to lead us to success. However, we can't blindly adopt new habits and expect them to transform our lives.

Blind faith in habits is akin to religious dogma. There's a belief that following a set list will absolve us of our flaws and lead us to enlightenment.

What people often overlook about habits is this: initiating one positive habit means nothing unless it replaces a negative one. Each new habit must fit into your day, which means sacrificing something else that doesn't contribute to your growth. You can't simply pile on more habits without making room for them.

With only 24 hours in a day, it's essential to replace unproductive habits with those that foster growth, eliminating the passive behaviors that hold us back.

Here's a critical point to remember: adopting a new habit doesn't automatically bring you closer to your goals, regardless of how effective it may seem according to experts.

If we tried to incorporate every suggested habit, we would not only overwhelm ourselves but also lose our sense of self. While habits are indeed the foundation for progress, they must be tailored to fit our unique identities.

The most significant mistake I've made is assuming that following advice from others would provide a straightforward path to achieving my objectives. The more I attempted to adhere to every suggestion, the more I stumbled—not due to the habits themselves, but because they often need to be customized to suit who we are.

Do you believe that every wealthy individual meditates? Or that all athletes read extensively? Or that every musician follows a strict diet?

Take my own experience as an example: I make it a point to drink water first thing in the morning. It's crucial for me, yet I often forget to do it throughout the day. Starting the day with a fresh 16 ounces sets a positive tone.

Water is essential—never underestimate its importance.

I even have affirmations tattooed on my forearms, each with personal significance. They serve as reminders during challenging moments, whether I'm at the gym or engaging in other activities. They evoke feelings of regret…until my time is up.

I engage in "meditation" only when stress levels are unmanageable. Admittedly, it can be challenging to quiet my racing thoughts, but it helps me regain focus. This usually happens about once a week.

For me, meditation means being present—not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Sundays are my days to break free from structure. I indulge in whatever I want, embracing a carefree attitude. This day of liberation reminds me of my humanity; I don't always have to be composed and in control.

Having been a fitness enthusiast for over half my life, I take immense pride in that. Yet, I lack formal education on structured systems beyond basic powerlifting. I rely on my body's signals, a skill that takes years of practice to master. You must learn to objectively recognize when to push your limits and when to rest, as well as what constitutes a balanced diet.

Think of your body as an experimental subject—it communicates with you.

As you reflect on your own habits, consider: what messages are they sending you?

Selecting habits should provide meaningful value; not all habits are created equal.

One underrated aspect of habit formation is how we engage with our role models and mentors. While we may admire their work and draw inspiration from them, few of us have personal connections to them. This lack of direct interaction can hinder our effectiveness.

My father may not be my hero, but I look up to intellectuals and societal challengers. Yet, because of this admiration, I can't seek their advice or pose questions beyond their published work. This limitation can be detrimental.

So, what can we do when our relationships with our mentors are indirect? How can we stay motivated, replace negative thoughts, and persistently move forward?

In 2017, during one of my lowest points, I turned to motivational speakers. A simple search for "motivation" on YouTube, Google, or Spotify yields countless results.

We naturally crave novelty and can quickly tire of repetitive content, including motivational speeches. Repetition can stifle progress. Ideally, we absorb the lessons and move on.

However, for me, the past five years have been filled with repeated exposure to the same motivational speeches. Almost daily, I immerse myself in these messages, spending thousands of hours revisiting the same material.

It's a secret I carry with some shame.

Why do I rely on this? Why can't I sustain my motivation independently? Does it even matter? At times, we must make do with what we have, and that’s valid.

I can recognize every speech and speaker by voice alone—names like T.D. Jakes, Jordan Peterson, Eric Thomas, and Tony Robbins come to mind. They span various fields: bodybuilding, business, spirituality, coaching, and entertainment.

Why do I need this support?

Because, without it, I once contemplated taking my own life. Without these voices, I lacked the encouragement from friends or family to push me forward. For years, I felt like an outsider.

Being alone is one thing; feeling lonely is something else entirely.

Can we truly survive without a community? Perhaps, if it’s driven by resentment and a desire to prove others wrong. Or to justify actions and validate feelings of victimhood.

These speeches serve as a lifeline, keeping me from slipping back into darkness. I listen to them during workouts, hikes, and any moment when old thoughts resurface.

What? You thought that achieving success would shield you from your past self?

The truth is, the only barrier against your darker tendencies is your habits. Your routines, your community, your actions, and your interactions all play a role.

Ultimately, you decide how to balance your internal chaos with order.

I've found my balance—now it’s your turn to discover yours.

Here's a tip: the closer you get to your true calling, your passion, and your legacy, the more committed and powerful your priorities, including your habits, will become. :)

Key Considerations When Adopting New Habits

• Tackle one habit at a time and establish a trial period.
• Ensure that the habit genuinely benefits you. If it doesn't resonate, modify it to create a positive impact.
• Don't abandon a habit simply because it presents challenges.
• Be open to crafting your own habits. They may be unconventional, but they could be precisely what you need.
• Recognize the potential downsides of habits. Many successful individuals adopt habits that work for them, but they don't all follow the same routines.

Habits are nuanced and shouldn't be forced upon you. Embracing your individuality will always be your greatest asset.

Now, go pursue your goals!

Chapter 2: Breaking Bad Habits

The first video, "How to Change BAD HABITS and Become A BETTER YOU w/ Charles Duhigg," offers insights into effectively transforming unhelpful habits into productive ones. Charles Duhigg discusses the science behind habit formation and practical tips for lasting change.

Chapter 3: Understanding the Roots of Bad Habits

The second video, "Why Do We Perform Bad Habits? And How Can We Break Them?" delves into the psychological triggers that lead to unhealthy habits and provides strategies for overcoming them.