Takeaway 1: Establish Your Own Definition of Enough

Letting go of the mindset of overachievement proved more challenging than I expected. After enjoying a fulfilling couple of months traveling and volunteering, I experienced a lull while transitioning between destinations. That’s when the comparison trap began to ensnare me.

As I scrolled through LinkedIn, a nagging voice questioned my choices:

“What am I doing?”

“Everyone else is getting promotions… Am I squandering my time?”

“What do I have to show for my year off?”

I recognized the origin of this voice. Growing up in a tumultuous family environment instilled in me a desire to maintain peace, which led to an obsession with overachievement. I tied my self-worth to my accomplishments, creating a false sense of control.

Consequently, I became a chronic people pleaser. Society often rewards these traits, which mask underlying trauma. We are conditioned to suppress our feelings in favor of the relentless pursuit of more—more success, more wealth, more prestige, more everything.

While I appreciated the achievements this mentality brought me, I ultimately felt trapped by it. I realized that my need for external validation was undermining the work-life balance I sought. No matter what I accomplished, I never felt satisfied.

This was the very issue I aimed to resolve by stepping away from my job, though I underestimated the inner work required. Initially, I sought to set clear goals for my free time, wanting to emerge from my break with impressive achievements. However, my perfectionism around these goals became a source of frustration during moments of inactivity. Without external accolades, I felt adrift.

But here's the truth: external validation does not equate to fulfillment. It merely perpetuates a cycle of striving for more. I ultimately realized that to heal my toxic relationship with productivity, I needed to avoid swapping an endless pursuit of work accomplishments for an endless list of life experiences. Otherwise, I would remain shackled to expectations.

I aspire to live a genuinely good life, not just one that appears impressive. This requires an internal transformation. To achieve this, I had to clarify what kind of life I genuinely want. Without this understanding, I would continue to chase arbitrary metrics and feel inadequate.

True freedom demands patience and a clear understanding of where we are and where we wish to be. The real work of life is discovering our own freedom.

Recognizing that I hold the power to define ‘enough’ for myself marked a significant turning point. After much reflection on what truly brings me joy, my core values, and my personal definition of success, I gradually found peace.

The secret? I began to gauge my life by fulfillment rather than achievements. I realized that I am inspired by deep connections, learning, and creativity. Now, I evaluate my weeks based on how much I nurture my relationships, how much space I create for learning and creativity, how content I feel daily, and how attuned I am to my own needs.

I embraced the notion that as long as I take steps each day toward living my values, I am in a good place. I no longer chastise myself for lost time; I am running my own race. By focusing on progress rather than perfection, I can appreciate how far I’ve come.

Instead of obsessing over my unfinished to-do list, I now strive to attain a flow state. I actively seek experiences that elicit joy, excitement, and satisfaction. Each day, I wake up energized and ready to embrace what life has in store.

Life may not always go according to plan, and some of my objectives may take longer than anticipated. Nevertheless, I no longer act from a space of fear, trying to prove my worth. Acknowledging my role as the protagonist in my own narrative encourages me to stay present and prioritize my holistic health—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. If that means taking a slower day occasionally for alignment, so be it.

A well-lived life does not necessarily conform to society's predetermined milestones.

Some days, my progress may appear minimal from an outside perspective, but I feel fulfilled.

Takeaway 2: Walking Your Own Path Can Feel Isolating

About six months into my career break, a sense of loneliness began to creep in. Surprisingly, this feeling did not stem from traveling alone. I had opted for a slower travel pace, which suited me well. Instead of rushing through locations, I settled in to create a routine that included regular exercise, cooking, reading, and pursuing hobbies. This approach allowed me to explore at my own pace, avoiding burnout from a packed schedule. I also integrated volunteer and work projects, providing structure and social interaction.

So what was the source of my loneliness? It arose from a deeper disconnect within me, tied to being at a different life stage than my friends.

When you choose an unconventional path, like taking a career break for self-discovery, you open yourself up to endless possibilities—and uncertainties. Not everyone will understand your choices or the new values you adopt. The internal struggle can feel isolating.

Perhaps you rethink your career path, envision a new place to live, or embark on a risky venture. Your community may expect you to return to your previous life post-break, but you know you’ve evolved and yearn for something different.

For me, it was a combination of realizations. I gained clarity on the life I truly desire, which diverges significantly from the paths my friends and family envisioned for me. This realization can be frightening; we all seek to be seen and understood for who we are.

Stepping outside the traditional route may elicit varied reactions from those around you, creating inner chaos. You might find yourself navigating a transitional identity phase, straddling the old and the new.

While I felt the pull of new adventures, I also feared losing acceptance and belonging by opting for the unconventional route.

Gradually, I found grounding by shifting my focus from myself to others. At the beginning of this year, I connected with friends to establish a weekly online meditation accountability group aimed at fostering mindfulness and emotional awareness.

We gathered weekly to share our life lessons. Old friendships deepened, and new ones blossomed. This community became a vital anchor, providing a safe space for us to discuss our challenges openly.

I remain grateful for this group, which taught me that when you help cultivate a sense of community for others, you, too, can find belonging. Instead of pondering what others can provide, the real rewards come when we concentrate on what we can offer.

I realized that even if people aren’t in the same life phase as me, they, too, are navigating their own journeys of renewal, experiencing fears and doubts in their own ways. Creating a space for vulnerability encourages others to do the same. Shared human emotions forge connections that transcend our differences.

The sense of separation diminishes in the presence of empathy.

Understanding the value of empathy, I approached travel friendships with greater intention. Rather than merely being a visitor, I made it a priority to learn the personal stories of locals and fellow travelers.

Despite language barriers and differing backgrounds, we connected over our families, aspirations, joys, and challenges. I discovered that we have far more in common than we realize. The enduring friendships formed during this year have been invaluable.

While not everyone will grasp your choices, there will be those who do. By opening your heart to the world, you invite the world to respond. The love you extend will return to you, though not always in expected forms.

Recognizing that meaningful connections are possible wherever I go has alleviated my feelings of loneliness.

Takeaway 3: Flexibility Is Key—Let Go of Rigid Expectations

Very few experiences unfold as planned. Alongside the joys of this year, I faced numerous challenges, including heartbreak, family health issues, and shifts in the job market. Throughout this winding journey, I grappled with my attachment to comfort, certainty, and control.

I initially approached my career break with an idealized vision of how it should unfold, making any changes feel anxiety-inducing.

Modern conveniences have conditioned us to expect instant gratification, leaving little room for discomfort or uncertainty. Instead of confronting our emotions, we often seek distractions in digital media. We want everything to be streamlined and optimized.

Our thoughts constantly churn as we navigate our days, thinking about what needs to be done for a seamless experience:

“I should do this.”

“Things should be like that.”

Yet, the weight of these “shoulds” becomes burdensome when reality intervenes. Despite our meticulous planning, many factors lie beyond our control.

Even the notion of “should be happy” can entrap us. As Jeff Goins wisely noted, “The worst way to be happy is to try to be happy.”

We often perceive our past as a smooth, linear progression, leading us to believe that growth is a steady ascent. In reality, we experience prolonged periods of stagnation interspersed with rapid changes and uncertainty.

This year, I learned to embrace the full spectrum of emotions, allowing myself to feel both joy and pain. These were parts of myself I typically buried under work or entertainment. It has been both fulfilling and heart-wrenching—a necessary process for reaching acceptance.

The essence of change lies in exploration rather than guaranteed results. Each experience has its own timeline. In times of transition, we cannot force outcomes; sometimes, we need to take a step back and allow things to unfold naturally.

Every experience we encounter serves a purpose, not just for us but for others as well. Life teaches us lessons and helps us navigate our emotions, equipping us to support others facing similar trials.

By adopting the perspective that experiences serve us rather than happen to us, I’ve begun to embrace unexpected events as growth opportunities. I now strive to relinquish the urge to control the uncontrollable, knowing I can always return to my center.

This realization hit me hard when I took my first skydiving leap at 15,000 feet in Australia. My heart raced with anticipation during the ascent, but moments after jumping, the fear dissipated.

I learned two vital lessons in that leap: how insignificant my worries are and that sometimes, the best choice is simply to let go.

The outcome? A deep, present sense of contentment.

It’s essential to note that this doesn’t mean jumping without a parachute. Practical planning is crucial and can significantly reduce the impact of unexpected changes. Traveling frugally (largely through volunteer work that covers accommodations and meals) and saving more than I anticipated proved invaluable during uncertain times.

Stay tuned for part three of my Career Break series, where I’ll share insights on budgeting, financial planning, and logistics.

For a visual representation of my metaphor, here is:

Final Thoughts

Living life on your own terms is a genuine privilege. As I mentioned in part one, I am profoundly grateful for the circumstances that allowed me to save and embark on this extended break.

What I want to emphasize is that cultivating a mindset of freedom is an essential skill. As long as we remain constrained by limiting beliefs, everything will seem unattainable. When we achieve true internal freedom, we can live authentically.

I have cherished the messages from many of you who resonated with my journey in part one and those who shared their own wisdom. If you're navigating a transitional phase in life, I hope the right next steps reveal themselves in due time. Growth emerges from experimentation, and I look forward to witnessing your journey.

The first video, "The Truth About Starting After a Career Break," delves into the realities one may face when resuming work after taking a break. This insightful discussion offers tips for reintegration and self-reflection as you embark on the next chapter.

The second video, "Ep179: Should You Take a Career Break? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself," poses crucial questions to consider before making the leap. It encourages thoughtful reflection on your motivations and desired outcomes to help you navigate this significant life decision.