Understanding Introversion

"Wow, you’re actually humorous!"

Photo by Alexandru Zdrob?u on Unsplash

If I received a dollar for every time someone labeled me as ‘reserved’, I could easily rival Jeff Bezos. A few months later, those same individuals would look at me, astonished, and exclaim, “Hey, you’re actually funny!” I often chuckle in response, pondering what one is supposed to say to such a remark.

Every time I manage to engage in a social gathering, I am starkly reminded of my introverted nature. Just today, I assisted at a local school, interacting with children. Never underestimate the energy of preschoolers! Thirty minutes with them can feel like an eternity. Afterward, I felt completely drained, yet I still had to navigate small talk with adults.

It's not that I dislike conversing; rather, it feels like I’m expending more energy than I possess. Maintaining a dialogue can feel mechanical, akin to flipping through a mental catalog for topics and follow-up inquiries. One of the strengths of introverts lies in their ability to ask questions, shifting the focus onto others so they can take the lead in conversation.

However, there comes a point when I run out of inquiries, or it feels awkward to continue asking questions. Then, the anxiety kicks in. Am I being too strange? Are they waiting for me to contribute? What should I say next? Ideally, I would prefer to sit in silence, but that’s often viewed as ‘anti-social.’

Many conversations feel like a performance to me — a scripted dance with a checklist of topics to cover. Yet, occasionally, I find myself fully engaged in a discussion with close friends. These interactions are seamless, resembling a well-played game of tennis. Silence isn't awkward; they’ve grown accustomed to it, allowing me to enjoy my meal in peace.

It’s undeniably an extrovert’s world, but introverts can carve out their own space too. We simply require a bit more time — sufficient for others to recognize the depth beyond the ‘quiet’ exterior.